Where Did The Styling Go?

I’m a hairdresser. The title doesn’t merely imply styling, it screams it. Along with everything else hair, I love styling for events— dinners, galas, weddings and the such. But lately I have noticed we are no longer in a society wherein doing up your hair, let alone dressing for any such event as simple as a dinner, brings people to actually step up to the occasion. Any occasion. And they are events— a dinner, cocktails, coffee or a social gathering with friends. We just no longer seem to respect the event or those in attendance as in the past.

No, I don’t mean to say that we no longer dress at all: there are many occasions and people still adhering to societal principles of respect for others and occasions; and I do acknowledge and indeed, enjoy, some of the more relaxed and accepted changes, but I feel we have definitely allowed for too much leeway, tending to put our own comfort over style, or rather, mistake comfort for style (case in point— pajama bottoms in public).  But I would argue we need, when looking into that closet, to put others, events and places into our thought process, understanding that how we show up says a lot about the respect we have for said above.

Take the way we dress right now. What was once considered inappropriate— jeans at a dinner, for instance— is now de rigueur. Jeans, t-shirt and jacket. I like that look a lot, myself. But I do also feel it shouldn’t be for every occasion. When it becomes the everyday and every event outfit, we unintentionally level and diminish all occasions. Dinner with friends at the local diner is comparatively different than dinner at a Michelin rated restaurant. Even with friends. So why do we accept and give in, rather than step up and show up?

Jeans are fun! Though I didn’t actually own my first pair until well into high school, I do enjoy wearing them now. But lines need to be drawn between the casual, the dressed and the formal. That’s what my mom said. Or rather, taught my brother and me. Growing up was all about looking our best for school, our Sunday best for church and that blue suit and tie for special occasions. Dinner at a neighbor’s house? How ‘bout your khakis and a polo. To the museum on a Saturday? Blue pants and a sweater. And school was a well-played game all its own. Every day had an outfit and a purpose. So growing up dressed imprinted my belief in dressing.

And that’s where my being a hairdresser, who loves styling hair, laments not being able to do it often enough. Whether a blow-dry, an iron, or a pin here and there, styling levels up the outfit. Hair is the most important of all accessories: outfit, makeup, jewelry; and proper styling is the finishing touch on and of you. Opening night at the ballet and that beautiful gown definitely calls for more than just a blowout. We need to look at the cut, the neckline and proportionality of the dress in order to come up with a style befitting your overall look. The craftsmanship of your gown deserves the respect and honor befitting a princess who knows the importance of showing up to the ball, not just going out for the evening.

So here’s a fashion exercise I’d like you to do. We are in awards season right now and the red carpet is aglow with celebrity. As you sit and watch, ogling at all that glamour, look head to toe and shoulder to shoulder at what each celeb is wearing. (Do this for the men, as well). Notice the shoes, the dress, handbag, jewelry, makeup and hair. Does it all work, or is it being failed somewhere? Does she wear that dress or is it wearing her? And what of the colors— of dress, hair, etc.? Chances are, as you discern the entire package and statement attempting to be made, you will find something not quite right to your eye. Yes, it does happen. Believe me. And it’s most often the hair at issue. Someone in her entourage hadn’t the courage to say “no”. Someone’s mirror tells a lie.

So get dressed, style your hair and add that perfect lip color. It’s time to go out!